she looked like she should be chained to micheal vicks radiator
how soon is too soon to introduce handcuffs into a relationship?
I'm drinking while I write this paper. When I can't see the screen anymore I'm gonna come out
Dude..masurbate with cocoa butter lotion..its like cocoa pebbles just gave me a hand job
What I love about college? The kid tripping balls has a kayak made readily available to him on any given Wednesday, Saturday, or Sunday.
We just started the day with vitamin bombs. Daily vitamin + whatever's left in your glass from last night = feel like a champion
I just can't deal with that sentence
I waxed the left side of it and was in too much pain to do the right side so my crotch looks like cruella devil
VAGINAS ASSEMBLE!
I'm not seeing this movie with you.
My liver was like a college freshman on spring break. It would've danced topless on tables if it could have.
Since the world is still here you can go ahead and disregard those pictures I sent
I can't believe I'm giving you play by plays of this sexting convo. It's like a three way he doesn't know about.
I wonder whether Megan will forgive me if i have phone sex in her attic
Listen, I've got balls in my face can I call you back
I just want to trace his tattoos with my tongue
Wandering around the streets of Baltimore at two in the afternoon. Just offered a job as a stripper. Think I should accept?
Try an internship first, see if you enjoy it.
Randomize
