the girl next to me in class is drinking a margarita out of a slurpee cup. i know your going to ask how i know its a margarita and the answer is i can smell the tequila. i never want to leave this place
She gave me a foot massage with her tongue. I think we're both scarred for life.
It's just a condom. Most people would commend me for saying I was going to start using them, and you're acting like I'm going to try heroin.
Tequila shots with cinnamon and orange write it down before I forget
Theres dried jager, barbecue sauce and frie remnants all over my front seat.
I have been way too involved with your nipples this weekend
That was like me applying to a law school drunk at 5 am
Hahaha. That's funny.
But I got an 18k dollar per year scholarship
You force fed me pizza in bed last night. That was fun
Another day, another engagement, another cat
I just remembered that last night I ate nachos off of someone else's table with a stranger
That is was cool to fuck the single mother accross the street until every girl i bring home gets the car keyed.
I'm at the point where I'm gonna write in my mothers bday card. Happy birthday. Please stop having sex with the door open.
all I got out of honors convocation is I've hooked up with a lot of smart guys
he told me he liked me . I thought we were just fuck buddies . This ruins everything!
Woke up went to work ate beef after three year hiatus shat my pants went to bed
Randomize
