That sound you heard was the sound of millions of brackets exploding simultaneously
we convincced her parents we were only wasted meanwhile theire faces were morphing into one and i swear there was a reindeer in the background
I'm sorry and I love you. One day we're going to live in a whore mansion with our babies and make boys cry.
Half the people who compete die. All the rest either lose their minds or grow an innate fear of sharks, vodka, and fishbowls
Boats looked like robot pelicans and time was slow and now im on wipe out
First of all you can never say anal too much. Second I now think you're a total gentleman.
Rarely has that paragraph ever been put together
How do I tell your little brother I lost my virginity wearing nothing but his socks?
Formal letter or email.
i made this one couple from ohio so uncomfortable that they left....and that was WHEN I HAD PANTS ON
I ate mushroom chocolates & went to the botanical gardens for Christmas. HAPPY FUCKING HOLIDAYS
Do you find Darth Vader masks attractive?
I think he's trying to finish jacking off before throwing up again
Ya it was crazy the power went just as she was about orgasm and the vibrator got fried with the power surge
I was supposed to go on a date tonight but I cancelled because I found out the Lizzie McGuire movie is on Netflix.
I'm really sorry I bit your mom last night, it was completely uncalled for.
When he identified himself as captain clitoris i knew my night was fucked.
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