Idk. We dropped acid and Kevin ran away again. We didn't find him for like 3 hours.
Man I wish I had been there
Yah we found him in the pool shed of some elderly couple. They were on the porch watching all of the shenanigans. ...To be young again.
You know if a vagina was a face, it'd be ugly as hell...
You did not just play the dead husband card again.
If you're missing hair this morning, i'm sorry in advance
we've been doin it since '07. it's like married sex now, were both comfortable so neither of us really tries anymore, we just do it because it's convenient
Don't worry I drank 7 more beers & brought home a guy that bit me at the bar.
The bartender seems to not like the DD's anymore. I'm sad
That money I left you should go to the stripper that fell asleep in your bed. Sorry
Those drunk pictures you took of me? My mom is showing those to my grandparents.
Thanks to that wedding, I got to use the term "finger bang" more than I have since high school.
These muscle relaxers obviously don't work because I'm harder than a fucking diamond.
I guess daylight savings isn't a holiday we need to celebrate for three days...
Then you fell out of your chair, looked right at me and said, "You are sooo drunk."
i love how you, my friend, sends me a picture of herself wearing a shirt that says "i am dead inside" and i'm just like "awww baby you're so cute"
that's just solidarity
Look, I know why you're asking me, but just because I'm gay does not make me a wiki on butt sex. Ask a doctor or you know, the internet like everyone else.
Randomize
