I would never have sex with Danny Devito!! JSYK.
He gave his mom his old phone, and I am SO paranoid
Did you send adult things?
Um. Yes would be the understatement of the year
I made friends with a raccoon. I pet it. Like I was Pocahontas.
My life now consists of 2 time frames. BV before vibrator and AD after death of my sex life.
That's your penis' name. I've always referred to it as Alejandro secretly.
Send me one of your boob pics as an example. I mean this in the straightest least lesbian way possible.
I'm hoping my engineering degree will pay off when I invent porn watching in the shower
My mom sucked on that joint like a nipple and she was a fucking newborn
I hope to God it's not the new neighbors having sex, because what I'm hearing sounds like a mildly defective vuvuzela or a cow giving birth.
Have you seen that new toaster that burns your pics to toast? Let's drink some booze and discuss what I have I mind.
Im gonna go for the gay guy. The ginger is freaking me out.
Two things. 1) party at my house this Friday 2) what was the name of the Australian you fucked on the cruise ship?
He saved that picture of my boobs for good luck romance still exists
4 pharmacies and not one had Plan B. If this is gods way of telling me it's time for a child, he can fuck off.
He's got a big dick, a steady job and tells me I'm pretty. There is litterally nothing else I look for I a guy.
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