I wish they made sweatshirts for legs
you mean pants?
Am I a whore if I make out with a boy just so michelle can't?
Did she have bad breath? Bad breath makes you think of all the bad things in the world
but he used his one phone call to call mom and wish her happy mothers day, that's gotta count for somethin
I took my vicodin with tequila. I can FEEL gravity...
There were penises being pulled out everywhere.
Most awkward car ride ever. Kid in the front seat was bawling, 2 in the backseat were ready to fight, and I was giving the last kid a handie. This needs to stop happening to us.
I just remembered that I did shots out of a gay mans crotch. And there's someone saved in my phone as "Miranda knows where my car is"
He said you stopped mid-fuck, called fives on his dick, walked out to grab another drink, and came back.
The hypnotist is here. He has a black eye and smells like tequila.
Sorry about all of the penis things that happened last night.
All i really remember is meeting this guy dressed as jesus and i kept taking his wine and saying "the body of christ!"
I also woke up in my friends room to 3 girls and a naked boy on the floor but thats besides the point
returning from a 6am booty call in 2 feet of snow on a Tuesday is a bold new kind of low for me
His dick is a spiritual experience and meditation is very important to me.
the walk of shame isn't very shameful when your mom tells you she's proud of you.
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