so i told her that taking semen on the face helps make your skin smoother.
and?
luckily she was drunk enough to believe she had really bad acne...
Today in class was pretty awsome. I dont feel like i have to throw up and im actually paying attention. This is a first for friday
can you pick up eggs and chocolate sauce on your way home?
what kind of party is this?
the best kind ever
He violated my cat. I was not impressed.
you figure out which one you wanna sleep with, & I'll sleep with the other one. problem solved
how do you say happy birthday to the guy that almost got you pregnant? i cant just write the same thing as last year.
You were definitely doing something right. You could only see the colored parts of his eyes a couple of times. I was pretty sure he was dead at some point.
Luckily my prof thought I was puking from nerves and gave me motivational mini speeches the entire final.
Cat. Why do you sit on things I need to use.
Because it is cat.
And I also succeeded in getting kicked out of a bar when I was drinking straight from the vodka bottle at our table.
Had a dream I went to Disney to visit you and then I got really drunk and puked all over these little kids in line
*goes to show prof a picture* *forgets tit pic is in camera roll*
Note to Self: Never again eat a weed brownie by yourself two hours before a tornado warning in your exact location.
Went to bed in my room fully clothed, woke up naked in the kitchen with the dog looking unamused.
There’s an entire generation of people out there who didn’t grow up watching Mr. Rogers and it shows. These Boomers need to get their shit together.
Randomize
