Yeah, i don't remember peeing. or meeting the girl.
I've only been here for an hour and I've already made 6 babies cry.
Happy Birthday
I'm never telling my kids not to take ecstasy, never. Idk what my mom was thinking.
Someone jacked my earrings off me or I threw em in the toilet again
I hate when that happens
My inner buddhist recalls, "You receive the d when you aren't looking for it, only when the d wants you." True story.
We passed my parents while I was giving him road head...that awkward
We're looking for the removeable roof from her Miata. Winner gets a 40.
Fuckin wine wasted last night. Found my pants in the toilet this morning.
We can get high as fuck when there are no orders. If not its cool. I just figured Take Your Blunt Buddy To Work Day.
Who suggested the eggnog wet t-shirt contest last night like whose idea was that
Speaking
If you can handle my post-party look you da real MVP
Ugh, I should just give up, and fuck him in a parking lot, and shave my head and walk naked through the streets of King's Landing.
So you're willing to shred any respect that you had for your body on some random chick who's only looking for sex? That's the worst thing I've ever heard.
I mean, it won't be 100% meaningless, I know her middle name.
Does it look too obvious if I buy wine and candles!?! In my defense there is a gigantic snow storm coming.
I'm sorry I get my lefts and rights confused because I'm dyslexic. But, it took you at least 15 minutes to figure out it wasn't your room OR YOUR HUSBAND.
Randomize
