bad idea #53- masterbating while on period.
my hangover today makes thursday's feel like a bubble bath.
I'm already at the bar. It's 2 PM. Help
Ever have those mornings where you just can't wait to puke in the shower?
Where are you? This girl fell on a baby. She is just gone. Please Hurry
I'm hurrying
Dude. She just shit herself.
Ya bro it was wild. Hey, is latex digestible?
I put the condom across her upper lip. It was like a mustache of a job well done.
I vaguely remember hanging my bra off the ceiling fan and chugging a beer during sex
College has turned you into quite the multi tasker huh?
I feel like drug tests are a little less "random" when you are employed by your father.
Our first kiss happened while shot gunning a hit from a gravity bong. Its that type of relationship.
I left myself a note saying 'buy a hamster but not an orange one like this pen'
omg so drunk
I couldn't find any flowers so I brought her a cat.
Not saying I'm a lesbian. Just saying that every time she walks by I wanna scissor her
He doesn't have much of a personality but he makes up for it with his sexual prowess
keeper.
If he isn’t into CosPlay he will be after tonight. That naughty nurse outfit heals broken hearts
Randomize
