yeah well you didnt even puke from the alcohol. we cut you off and went to huck finn's and told you that the "irish cream" coffee creamers had baileys in it, so you shot down like eight of them and puked all over the floor. it was great. we cheered you on and everything
shit is crazy. i just keep thinking that this kid growing inside Emily used to live in my balls.
You deserve yourself a blunt and a build a bear.
Now that the olympics are over we have no excuse for getting belligerently drunk for nationalism every night.
just chugged some gatorade and threw it up. todays gonna be awesome
Was rudely woken up by strangers at 4:15am. I was leaning against the stoplight at 9th
Get this. Chipped my front tooth taking a sip of a gay mans beer out of my cleavage. Fuck my fucking life. that'll be fun to explain to my dentist
He wants to take me instead of his girlfriend to the happiest place on earth... By that He meant Vegas. My morals are just loose enough to think this is a good idea
You don't know true terror until you get stuck in a porta potty while frying your face off.
oh man that would be weird.. i feel like we should do dirty things before anything super intimate like a massage.
just got permission to expense a nerf gun
I had to hose off vomit off my driveway at 9 am.....so hot
He started yelling terms of endearment at a cheese sandwich. Then he tried to hump it.
ALL I WANT IN MY MOUTH IS A GLORIOUS COCK SMOTHERED IN CHOCOLATE. DICK AND CHOCOLATE; IS IT TOO MUCH FOR A GIRL TO ASK FOR?!
It's done, I'm done, goodbye veneer of class and dignity it was nice knowing you
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