Where are you? I just made a vodka + cranberry & I’m going to drive there & throw it in your face
Is it weird that I found myself thinking of that blue chick from Avatar while she gave me head after the movie?
as we were stuffing their 24 of beer into our bags you kept saying you wanted cheese strings. closest things we found were kraft singles. as the guys came up the stairs you kept screaming 'GET THE CHEESE! GET THE CHEESE!'
I may have just googled Muppet Treasure Island drinking game
I stumbled into my living room at 4 a.m. to find him hurling my laptop across the room and his pants around his ankles. Clearly his night didn't go as planned.
My male hookup buddy is gonna meet my female hookup buddy, let the awkward hookup games begin!
He yelled "juice on the loose", yes i am sure i need plan b
Should we buy the taco bell before hand? Not having taco bell on Quattro de mayo isn't a risk I'm willing to take
So my mom wants me to come swim with dolphins with my little sisters in October. I'm not sure how to tell her I saw a "when dolphins attack" special when I was rolling and am now terrified of them.
I was drunk, he was taking a bodyshot while avoiding my piercing. I told him I loved him. He waited until I woke up with my hangover to say he loved me too. It was hangover magic.
maybe facebook could make a notification like "someone tagged a photo of that guy you used to bang and still think is really hot with his shirt off"
Seriously, he's as bad as Joffrey. I hope this ends like Game Of Thrones did.
You don't know the capacity of my vagina
All I remember is me taking my automatic nerf gun getting on top of him and saying..."look whos in control now!"
IT'S MY BIRTHDAY. I SHOULDN'T HAVE TO DRIVE 3 HOURS FOR BIRTHDAY SEX.
Randomize
