wow. When I'm done with him he's going to have to pop his collar in necessity and not just douchery
i have i love cock written on my hand and a vagina drawn on my arm and i just finished eating breakfast with the whole fam for mothers day
ahah at least you got away with it
nope...my gran was the one who informed me
this guy jus got head in a gas station bathroom from this fat chick with one leg
gross dude. was the guy blacked out drunk or something?
yeah and it only cost me 6 dollars
And then i made him answer questions about me before i took off my clothes
I pulled out and her Nuva ring was around my dick... It was like I won a carnival game for adults... I asked her where my big stuffed bear was
A guy in a sombrero stopped to take a picture with me sitting on the curb.
MY DOG FOUND A BAG OF COKE ON THE SIDE OF THE ROAD!!!!!!!!!!!
AND ITS GOOD STUFF TOO!!!!!! AHHH!!!!!!
This has been the biggest binge-drinking season of the decade.
We didn't have sex but he is somehow naked and laying on top of me. his dick is touching my leg and freaking me the fuck out.
Virginity is like the pottery barn-you break it, you bought it.
Thanks....I've always wanted my vagina compared to an overpriced coffee table
You are not going to get a pat on the back from me for not fucking that 40 year old again.
he came during what was supposed to be the foreplay blowjob. there goes my evening.
You guys I wore sweatpants to work today because I simply forgot to put on real pants and I had a weed brownie and a juice box for breakfast. I am not ready for parenting.
she's my really slutty friend i bring around so i can act slutty and not feel as bad about it
There better be alcohol at this child's birthday party. Seriously not trying to be entertained by a clown while I'm still sober.
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