The jonas brothers playing in your laptop. This is why guys won't sleep with you...
Do you feel like you missed out a little from not getting crabs in college?
You said you were collecting Asians for your Kate Gosselin costume.
No one knows who he is but he hasn't missed a shot in beer pong yet. He's dressed as lance armstrong and is tearing shit up.
theres pictures of him knuckle deep in her, both of them thumbs up and cheesin. someone should take her kid away
Does Jim keep sending you pics of him in drag too???? If so, are you also slightly uncomfortable?
I was just laughing and almost crying after I orgasmed, and then almost crying because I was laughing so hard. That's new.
Does he think you're psycho?
Officially...... yes.
I really love you gals. I'm sorry again. I'm just super protective of my poutine
I gave you keys to my house and drugs. This must mean we're in a relationship.
dude it's 9am and i'm still drunk it's too early for sexting
You're not who I thought you were. You've changed.
She turned down sex for beer pong. I'm not sure if I should be disappointed or not.
"They let me see the x-ray. My nose is broken. I saw it. It was cool. Well, I guess it would be cooler if it wasn't my nose."
I'm really sorry I bit your mom last night, it was completely uncalled for.
He started out in my roommates bed and by the end of the night was in mine, not sure how that went down. But he left happy in the morning.
We met behind our asshole boss's back with the intent to oust him from the company. If this revolution is a success, bring nachoes.
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