i'm sick of taking my pants off and seeing a look of disappointment on the girls face. i want her to be frigthened
hey dude i know youre in the next room but me and your sister need a condom, got any i could borrow?
He told me he had more lines than a plaid shirt
I don't even have to turn the heat on in my car. Just fart the whole way home.
You don't even understand how penises react in the cold. I'm like a 8 year old boy right now.
well he showed me a naked baby picture and i was right it hasn't grown
My lack of memory is directly related to being friends with you.
I am highly attracted to the men and that's all i can say. I do not clap and make noises but i do turn to the side and say how i'd do incredible things to them if given the chance
you were mass sexting so we took your phone away
Who just wakes up in their own bed and assumes "I probably blew some guy last night"
I made my own utility belt like Batman. It has a cup holder for my beer, cell phone holder, a little pocket for condoms, and a sewing kit just in case.
First encounter with a mirco peen. I was confused when he said he doesnt go down on girls. Cmon dude, practice on a peach.
Pretty sure the guy at the Halloween party dressed as an ice cream man is working his way through the building without a care for gender or age. He high-fives me on his way out each morning.
We dated for a month and a half. he didn't like blow jobs. I honestly don't think he was human.
like, there should be nothing wrong with me wanting to watch you put on a bikini and roll around in a kiddie pool of jello
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