Dude, my boy c***** and I hooked up with Asian sisters last night in the same room
Then I put on blue by Eiffel 65 and security showed up and yelled at us for being too loud. Also, they stopped fucking because no one can fuck to eiffel 65
what happened last night??
everyone saw ******'s vagina
and that's just the beginning
She said her first boyfreind was so small she is still technically a virgin.
his receeding hairline makes running into him so much less awkward. almost enjoyable actualy
Obama is so hot when he ends wars.
way to not show up for Habitat for Humanity, real classy...
I saved lives by not driving this morning
Confidence margaritas not a good idea. Just said foreskin in my presentation instead of foresight.
Is it appropriate to put "Mommy and Daddys shitfaced-ness that led to Aubrey" on a birth announcement?
Well you two just had a kid in the middle of college, I dont think anyone will notice.
Thanks bro
So if I tell her fire is hot and it will burn her... she's probably just going to keep throwing her vagina at it huh?
Haha its fine we ask know it. He's still cool thought
Focus on the keyboard man. Focusssss
can we take a moment to remember my theory on 'your tongue is a snake that lives in your mouth' because we reached a whole new level of high
She just left someone a voicemail saying 'you better not have plans Saturday night, cause I'm going to sit on your face.'
Who else will cuddle and watch the Bachelor with me then finger bang me during the rose ceremony
Hey do you remember me?
You were the giant banana I had sex with... how could i forget?
Remeber when we went camping and fucked those two guys? Yeah me either but I'm covered in poison oak so I'm guessing it's from that.
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