ok shes still asleep, should i pee on her and say she did it herself? and by the time you respond to this ill probably have already made the decision
Was going to watch Bolt. Fucked a stranger instead. Details later.
So you didn't like Bolt?
Was just hit on by a guy with 2 kids and one was named Rocky. I need to get out of Buena Park.
I forgot i ate a salad for dinner, so while i was barfing in his toilet, i kept screaming "i ate leaves?? i cant believe you let me eat leaves!"
I can die happy now, I have been kicked out of strip clubs on six different continents
Dude pussy is like music. For every person who pays for it, there are thousands more getting it for free.
Wait til she sees the pic of her vag in court docs.
Just rinsed and put my styrofoam cup of noodles in the dishwasher. I need to be not hungover ASAP
I am almost positive I asked to milk her when I was saying my goodbyes.
Cause a man that looks THAT good must have an ass that tastes like lucky charms
He woke up in a dragon costume, covered in bong water. That was a party we will regret missing.
Made out with a mannequin all morning in cpr training, so im ready to party
I'd do them all but honestly I'm so high that I probably should have a chaperone.
Just paid for my STD meds using a giftcard I got for Christmas. Thanks mom.
I seriously feel like I just crawled out from under a shit covered rock. I'm NEVER drinking like that again...well, not for alteast a solid 3 hours.
Randomize
