everyone who works at gamestop is basically destined to live with their parents for the rest of their lives... so i said no.
Going to a party tonight. Sorority girls will be there. Primary goal of the night: make one cry. Secondary goal: become a father.
she said we were using the spray butter as air freshener
I got asked if I was pregnant as a pickup line
I'm going for high school drunk, you've got 15 minutes to get here.
Just retrieve me from the bathroom floor when you're done
I hope you get some kind or rare disease that makes your dick ties itself in a knot for fucking her you lucky bastard.
Hi, my name is Ashslay and I'll be your designated shitshow.
the only joy I get out of her anymore is hitting on her friends and ignoring her. it's chaos for them. like shaking a slutty ant farm
Look, as flattering as it is, I'm getting a little tired of being everyone's go-to girl for a threesome.
I had no idea he had such passive aggressive animalistic tendencies. This is the human equivalent of peeing on someone.
SOME DUDE PUT OUT FOR A MCCHICKEN AND YET YOU STILL WON'T FUCK ME
You ate my ass why wouldn't I remember you
Do you think telling guys I'm majoring in magic is a good pickup line?
I have a cheeseburger in my purse and im going to fill her prescription for narcotics. Who thought i was responsible enough to sign her discharge papers?
Randomize
