i just uploaded three hundred pictures and you had your shirt off in two hundred and ninety of them
the remaining ten - you weren't in
The line was so long at Kum n Go some guy opened & drank 2 beers from his 12 pack while waiting.
I don`t remember Saturday, actually
Its ok, i dont remember 2007
Jason and steven are boiling shrimp in the microwave again
I'm sensing a Yuletide blow job in your future and by future I mean tomorrow
Remember that time you puked in a beer pong cup while someone else was playing?
that happened
my mom tried to talk to me about my drinking, i somehow turned it around on her, now shes going to AA and I'm going to the bar.
He's like a computer from 2001 in a 2014 world. It just doesn't work. Lots of glitches.
Named all the presidents in order between puke sessions while semi conscious so that's a thing I can do now
Who put the meatball sub on my door handle?
I've made a single handle of rum last like three weeks and my mom hasn't even acknowledged it.
I either forgot underwear this morning or lost them at work and I seriously don't know which.
Dude it's 6 am and you just invited me to a hotel with a shit ton of coke. Best morning ever
I’m getting reeeeaaalll tired of telling cute boys I gave them chlamydia.
That’s two in three months. You really know how to live.
Every dick I’ve had or wanted in the last year is married. It’s like I became a professional home wrecker after I graduated.
Randomize
