you ran down to the water at 3am and rolled in the sand and ran around screaming that you were the corn dog monster.
I just experienced a full blown christian wedding. I am SO GLAD YOUR WEDDING WASNT THIS.
three guys just busted into my bio lecture, yelled "happy st. patrick's day!", downed jagerbombs, and left.
Just threw up on my desk at work. They are making me go home.
We're cuddling on the couch that me and his brother had sex on...this feels wrong
Thats gotta be it. Also just found out that the fireworks will fit in the airsoft pistols...we are all gonna die
Bring gay.
By that I meant the rum. I just realized that my request made no sense. You always bring gay.
I'm going to miss recovering from hangovers on the beach. Rolling around in my dorm bed and watching Friends reruns is just gonna feel like slumming it.
Know anything about my roof collapsing last night?
Tequila.
earned some solid air miles from the plan B I just bought. #silverlinings
I shall relish in being the most basic of bitches
COME AND FUCKING GET ME I AM IN SOME SORT OF JUNKYARD!!!
We are back but we are listening to stairway to heaven in my car. Amy is air drums. Be back when it's over.
I choose my mates solely based on size and ability. No cuddles. No sleep overs. Definitely no repeats.
Sorry dude, one minute I was flirting with a bachelorette party from Dallas and the next I’m being tied to the bed by the bride
Trying to wrangle us an invite to the wedding
Randomize
