Stop staring at my boobs, I can't concentrate
Well how do you think I feel
fair enough
guess who has a date tonight
look at you growing up, going on dates before she hops into bed
I convinced a girl to do a shot of salsa someone fell through the whole on the porch and Sara swallowed a beer tab
Just grabbed my laptop and a beer to take a shit. Mom gave me a look of disgust. I miss college.
the only way to explain how i feel is someone rolled me down a big fucking hill and then a dog came a took a huge ruthless shit in my mouth at the bottom
You don't understand. He was so ginger that he could make red hair a dominant gene. And I refuse to torture my future spawn like that.
Ice cream: Good. Fraternity: Good. Eating ice cream off a Skid Row bum's ass crack in order to get into a Fraternity: Homoerotic at best. I quit.
Oh no. Not her. Her personality clashes with mine in ways that would make me wanna beat myself with a stick.
You were fine, but your knee injury definitely came from interpretive dancing like a gay fairy with lead wings all around the Mission St BART. Everyone thought you were on drugs.
I just want to smoke this blunt and eat pizza rolls while watching The Price Is Right with you.
My neighbors are white girl rapping to Hamilton again...
So she was on top of my phone and somehow called my roommate while I banged her. I picked up and he congratulated me. I was with his sister. I will take this to my grave.
1. Everyone on the 1st and 3rd floor heard you. 2. The 3rd floor vibrates when we have sex. 3. The 1st floor can hear the bed squeak.
Guess who cheated on their SATs? Also on the same line guess who's getting in to Princeton at damn near free of charge?
I'm fucked-out. That state of being high between fucked up and passed out.
Randomize
