Billy Mays died!
I know. And the US is beating brazil...what's wrong with the world?
I just remembered I gave a homeless man a ride to his bridge last night.
I wish "capable of destroying an innocent girl's life" is something I could put on my resume
We're playing Edward Bottle-of-eight-dollar-sale-wine-hands now
well i was about to unbutton his pants but then i realized they had an elastic waste-band, so no, that didnt happen
so i had a hang over on saturday and i stayed in the shower for 4 hours, then crawled out, skimpered to my bed, and some kid i didnt know was sleeping in it
You walked in with a firecracker and a doughnut then demonstrated what a lazy job he did fucking you
Remember when there was a happier time when people could all hang out together with out the awkwardness of the fact that she stole $1000 and cheated on a brother with another brother !?!??
Dude tried texting you during but she threw my pants too far away
Wednesday is my day of reflection and making my dick and balls into shapes. So i'll be pretty busy.
She has this wild look other eyes like she wouldn't be afraid to commit a felony.
put something nutritious in your body. AND NOT JUST THAT JOINT.
So now I can cross "have my ass be someone's phone background" off the bucket list. You know, if it was something I actually had wanted to happen.
Goal: finish my bio assignment before the Xanax kicks in.
I'm gonna invite every single tinder date I've had to my birthday. Let them fight, battle Royale style. The winner gets to fuck me. \n\nBest. Birthday. Ever
Randomize
