It's official. I'm a squirter. Wasn't a one time thing.
I mean we havent seen each other since december and then bam its cinco de mayo and were having sex under a life guard tower taking tequila shots between each position. no big deal
She's gonna be fat in the future. On a side note I had a "It's not you, it's me." conversation with a bottle of jack last night.
I think she was eating a cup of ramen noodles while we banged, or had a seizure
I have a broken liver
I see that the whole "let's take a break from drinking" has worked out really well for us.
Vaguely remember? You pushed George and two other fellas out the way to hug me, screamed gandalf before chugging your beer and smashing the bottle on the floor. I lolled.
Sweet. Well pat yourself on the back this penis just burst back into the the game and the vaginas of millions
I was behind him snuggling, I told him I was the big spoon and he told me I was too little it was more like he was wearing a backpack.
There are five fire trucks here and needless to say my booty call left so come back home whenever you like
I'm eating your cookies as payment for having to listen to you. Happy sex
yyyea i think im gonna go get a bowl and play skyrim. And by bowl i mean something i can throw up in, not weed
I'm sorry, that really sucks. I'm in the bath eating lasagna and if anyone comes in here it's going to be bad news for them
I've talked to too many cops in one week and I haven't even committed any crimes. I hate the suburbs
I figured you were on something. You're way too happy right now to be sober
I got a gay guy to motorboat me. These tits could change the world, I'm telling you.
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