allegedly i woke up at 5am sat in the dishwasher and peed
Is your delayed response due to the massive amount of judging going on?
Yes, you did come over last night. You also tried to give my dog a blowjob. You got rejected.
One of us needs to be functional tomorrow and it won't be me. I'm drinking liquor out of a fishbowl.
id like to know how you successfully locked me in your backseat last night
Waiting outside the STD clinic 30 min before it opens already in a line up. It's like were all waiting for a concert that no ones really pumped for
it was like i was on a global safari of uncircumcised men
At one point last night I over heard you say " I'm gonna puke in a bag and pour it down your throat" I LOVE YOU.
Yeah i'd say someone being in the room while you're doing someone makes them eligible for fb friendship
Ordained minister or not I hereby renounce all moral responsibility for any and all related occurrences
I know I come to this conclusion on a fairly regular basis but I really do need a babysitter
I appreciate the fact that you sent me a snapchat of your dick soaking in a cup of water.
Hey every now and then can you tell me you want to fuck me to boost my confidence? Thanks.
We have been dating for 5 months. I'm friends with his sister. Yet my number in his phone is still saved as "hot bartender"
I wanted to give everyone gifts as they left the house... So when your wondering where most of the christmas ornaments are I'm really sorry.
Randomize
