Hahaha. I am actually really tight for having a kid. Like really really tight.
He's a firefighter, who has his own band. I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
who do I fuck, the girl waiting for me upstairs or her roomate making me mac and cheese right now?? This is the single hardest decision I've always wanted to have to make
You need to come over. I cant get her to stop eating honey mustard straight from the squeeze bottle
The vagina on Hilton Head is mighty fine this time of year.
got my wristband ripped off, was told i can only be served water. please find me, i'll be running through the fountain
Dude shes not that fat. Plus, last night I probably would've done it too.
he fucked me so hard i could feel my pelvis shifting. like i legit feel more prepared for childirth now
Vodka and tater tots have managed to satisfy me more than most of the guys I've slept with.
i just got banned from the m&m's website for trying to get poon slayer written on my custom order
He wants me to tell you "my boner misses you"
I put his pb&j sandwich in my bra and never looked back
Okay, first we buy a pirate outfit and then we get drunk, you in or you out?
This is a hangover from hell. Delivered by the devil himself.
She's like a squirrel. She spazzes out all the time.
Randomize
