the drag queen on stage looks like shes wearing the EXACT same dress i wore 2 senior prom.
Just had another dream about being on Real Chance of Love. I think it's a sign.
just threw up into the cup of Gatorade I was hoping would settle my stomach. thanks again, alcohol.
Also, last night I had a dream that I was in a victoria's secret fashion show and they made me wear a t-shirt over my lingerie. Spring dieting begins now.
I got kicked out because I puked again I'm on the fire truck outside
Yes. Yes. Double yes. I'll bring the tits. You bring the frosting.
the number of desperate girls at the gym right now is unfair. it would be cruel not to let one blow me.
Can we do a version of last night where I actually remember shit?
You paid at the door and they gave you a straw for the kiddie pool full of booze.
After a bit there were two girls who got naked and liquor wrestled. I don't think it was planned.
Do I like my job? I just bought 1/2 oz of pot from my supervisor at work. At a discount. And he said, "pay me whenever."
Should I be concerned you put your last name in my phone as "danger"?
I swear going to your house is like going to a strip club, no matter what happens I get glitter on me.
I've seen too many dicks in the past week. I can't do it anymore.
The guy next to me on the bus has one hole in his jeans that has over 20 mini dicks drawn on his leg. Classic.
At least I’m an “essential employee” and can still bang my boss. \n\nFingers crossed my husband doesn’t ask why I’m essential, the orgasms are too good to give up during this pandemic
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