i had to do the walk of shame dressed as a leprechaun. I have never been more proud of my irish roots.
Kinda felt bad though cuz she whimpered and shuttered a lot, i felt like i was kicking a puppy, only the puppy liked it and came a bunch
Pretty sure i didnt get thrown out cause why dont i have more bloody areas
He put used condom on the handle of the plunger in the bathroom.
totally worth getting kicked out for trying to throw my drink on lindsay lohans ankle bracelet.
When you get up and look at yourself in the mirror, don't be alarmed. The doctor assured us last night that it looked way worse than it actually was and there won't be a scar when the stitches come out
woke up in a random sweater in a random bed in a random house on a street I don't recognize..
also, I vaguely remember swapping shirts with some random guy on the dance floor.
My mother is even happier about me having a sugar daddy than I am
Am I supposed to confront my 52-year-old boss/mother of 3 about the fact that we matched on Tinder?
I accidentally left my shirt at my booty calls house. He washed it & hung it up for me in his closet. I can't decide if that's sweet or creepy
Our house drank 90 beers yesterday afternoon before 8pm so add that to the list
How I know I would be an awful mother....I just stirred the bong up with a baby fork. A literal baby fork....
I think my dick has healed enough that we can start having sex again
Last night was fun but it wasn't right. I will say that our lives intersected for a brief and intense moment and we will just leave it there.
Well... Chad blew off half of his hand last night. We were able to find most of it.
Randomize
