Let's pretend this is a good idea before I change my mind.
he just looked at me and whispered "these are my sea lions. my sea lions." and then went back to licking the mirror
It was the worst sex ever. All she did was tap on my balls with her hands like she was in a reggae band.
I can do it, this is my punishment and I will accept it, plus id like to see the look on peoples faces when I throw up on them
This guy needs to come out; I can feel him sucking my dick from across the room.
Your penis chewing exercise is not working
Moral of the story is go have sex with a foreigner and report back to me.
She took one look at my hardon and said, "You have a dick built for anal."
That wasn't a compliment.
Nope. Turns put my desperate group message for sex didn't work out.
Well you sent it to two guys who were roommates.
They could have rock paper scissored for it. My vagina = the prize.
You just accidentally called me. You kept saying "Really?! Really?!!" So I can only assume you are having sub par sex
of course the one day I come to class high we have guest speakers from the police department... Just my luck
I feel like I'm in high school again. I'm completely sober and I just gave some guy a handjob to completion.
Me saying I wish i was a better person + me pretending I don't want to fuck on my period = me lying
It was a glorious ass. He has amazing hands. I want to fuck him until he can't do math anymore.
You said you made a new recipe, but it turned out you just cooked ramen with vodka instead of water.
Randomize
