They wont let us in. Theyve some sort of no Daft Punk costume rule
i just watched my husband get a prostate exam. sex is ruined for me.
Does it really count as two different guys if they're brothers? I like to think of it as one and a half.
I knew I was high when I wanted to write a poem about how great it felt to wash my face
bad decision saturdays are such a good decision
We have literally factored in $2200 for bail money in the budget. This vegas trip will be out of hand. We are signing confidentiality contracts.
hey you forgot your wet suit in my room you can come grab it whenever
This guy either needs to stop touching me or buy me another drink.
I just busted my piggy bank to afford McDonald's. This is my personal cry for help.
Guys, as my favorite vagina consultants I have to share something.
My professional advice is not to put lemons in your lady pocket.
Lexi was drunk enough at 2pm to say "fuck tom brady and fuck you too" to literally every person at the store in Pats attire.
I'm just waking up. I awoke in a towel (I must have showered at some point),i also found a half eaten McChicken in my bed and vomit in the toilet. Seems like I'm winning at life
Got caught peeing in public. Sucks. It was a police station. Sucks worse.
The man built me a fort. Of course he got laid.
He has to be employed and covid free. That’s my standard. I can’t be picky. 2020 has killed my sex life.
Randomize
