Do you ever look back at facebook pics and say, "are those really guys I had sex with?"
i just keep taking vicodin and supergluing random shit
You bet me 100 dollars that the Raiders would win the super bowl this year. I have it on tape.
I keep forgetting that I only have two nostrils.
Well its kinda hard to gift wrap an orgasm
Dick in a box?
Whoever brought the pigeon, please come and remove it from my living room.
well, the two that sent pics I've already been with, so at least its not just BAM HERE'S MY PENIS IN YOUR INBOX ENJOY THOSE MEGAPIXELS
It's been hot as balls outside. It's like getting tea bagged by the Sun.
We were pulling the glow sticks off of him and he just kept yelling, "my bones! You're taking my bones!" and asking me if I was on the crew team
My professor laid down on the floor and told us a story that involved being naked covered in Vaseline with a pumpkin on your head. No lie. This is going to be a great semester.
I seriously want to say to him "Do you know how many blow jobs you could have gotten this summer?"
getting busted for public urination is like, a step above j-walking. you'll be fine
Also I feel I should tell you last night when I came home I fell into my laundry hamper and woke up in a pile of my clothes
Woke up in a house I don't know, with someone else's pants on, and wolverine hair, to my girlfriend yelling on the phone about the 4 girls I made out with last
Ate a slug for 39 dollars
I wouldn't expect anything less from a PhD student
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