is it true guys wash their penises in the sink if they think they're getting laid at a bar?
it's more of a rinse.
There needs to be a term for a female version of a rusty trombone
That bar we were at last night smelled like cougars. Virginia Slims, Aqua Net and Summer's Eve.
he made me salute his american flag boxers before i took them off
I think I might stay on campus instead of going home for thanksgiving and see how many townies I can hook up with and no one will be around to judge
Does the whole "it was New Years" excuse apply this year?
I can't believe they didnt cut us off after we all hugged each other and started singing "were the 3 best friends that anybody could have" RIGHT IN FRONT of the bar and bartender...
HES DOING PULLUPS BE STILL MY BEATING HEART
Oh Julie took your pants off last night, I put your pajama bottoms on, and Rachel took your bra off. It takes a village.
I rammed pretzels and Jell-O shots down the throats of those I loved.
I just spilled grey goose in my hair. You could say I keep it classy for the family Christmas parties.
Please tell me I made it home with both shoes on
Nope
My apartment looks like the apocalypse of sobriety.
i can believe you didnt get any, i was wing-girling the shit out of him
all you did was repeatedly scream GET IT IN
That butt dial turned into a booty call.
Randomize
