That's why Kanye is a gay fish.
you just used "cock block" and "youth group" in the same sentence. somethings wrong with you.
No, he's fine. He only wanted to know why there were traffic pylons in the living room and how the peanut butter got on the ceiling.
So awkward... The newspaper lady just caught me sitting stoned in my driveway at 5 am and asked if I was okay. I'm way better than ok right now
the evidence from last night is not good...
what evidence?
my underwear is on inside out, and there are french fries in my hair...
Why do i feel like Captain Hook just gave me a pap smear?
Tell me when you get here. I'm drinking beer in the bushes next to your house, and I put my hoodie up because I was cold. Pretty sure everyone lowkey thinks i'm homeless.
I love birth control. How's that for a Facebook status on valentines day.
Model at car show < day drinking with your favorite sister. Get your head in the fucking game Christopher.
Morning! Im using your rent money to snort percocet.
Why is it pressure? I want to see your cute face and possibly sit on it. You make it like its a bad thing.
if anyone asks you the platypus in my bathtub is a gift...thats all anyone needs to know
long story short... we may or may not have lost your car.
"I'm 22, I could die in a piano bar." -a sentence i actually just said to my boss
There's something sensual about taking off a pair of socks.
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