I swear to god Optimus Prime and Megatron are fighting in my head right now.
do you believe in love at first sight?
awwwwww =)
yea.. so can i have your sisters number? thanks!
I just got really nervous and swallowed all of my birth control
I didnt attack him, I heard I threw a chair at him- big difference. And you know Im not a creep so whatever
i blame lastnights decisions on friday the 13th
I'm not giving my ex her earrings back. If some chick i hated gave me brownies i would still eat them. It's the same thing.
She threw up on me during morning sex and now Im pretty sure I just saw a woman die at 7-eleven. This is way too much for a Monday morning
i think i figured out where our problem might have started...when we poured more tequila on top of out margaritas to melt the ice bc they were too cold
hahaha or putting rum in the bbq sauce?
its official: beach shits are the exact same as mountain shits
I just replaced the poop spray with an air horn... Now we wait!
We need to talk about your improper dealings with the town drug dealer.
But you put your finger in my ass and the rest is history
Safe to say we should stock up on nipple bandaids ladies
I've never had to say don't judge me for chip clips in the shower before
random boy in my bed. last night wasnt a dream. fuck.
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