areee we human. . .oorrr areee we dancerssssss?!
you srsly need to quit going to that bar
But i just feel like he will pull it out and ill panic. I mean its fairly basic. Up and down. But i feel like ill just freak out.
I'm at a party with that guy you made out with on new years. He remembers your name!
woke up to an overdrawn credit card. did you order the dawsons creek boxset last night?
i hope so.
can you put a coffee maker in the dish washer? yo know what, nvm i want to be surprised
You tried to convince our cab driver that your $2 bill was worth $11.70
Dude they even gave me free lube for being tested! Best. Hiv test. EVER.
Also, I just saw a woman change into her stripper outfit in the bathroom at Target.
about to tell this girl that sh'es my teenage dream. you have 15.358s to stop me.
Well I talked to some Canadians today, and I'm keeping a vigilant watch for sharks, so I'm pretty booked up.
I sold him an eighth while trippin balls wearin my girlfriends tutu and tube top. and i was talking about albinos the entire time
well, he defiantly picked the right guy to buy drugs from
My ninety day supply of adderal just came in the mail and I literally just dumped all 180 pills into my hands and laughed like a maniac. Shits about to get cray
Omg this place. I'm at a neighborhood party. My mom has kissed two other moms. Where am I
Another guy on Tinder just asked about "the hotter girl" in my pictures. I fucking hate being your friend.
You couldn’t remember the word hand jibber. Instead, your drunk ass offered the bartenders “unlimited hand fritters” if they wouldn’t cut you off.
Randomize
