Best part is I totaly had to get into my dads car like I didn't have my pants off two minutes ago.
dude I just sharted for the first time ever, kind of gross
well what did you think, shitting your pants would be fun
how do you have sooo much energy?
billy mays threw in a lil somethin extra when i ordered some oxiclean last week
He smothers me through text. I can't even image what he'd be like in person.
I wish they made helmets for livers.
5 Four Lokos being cheaper than a case should be illegal.
all i know is that each time we woke up we were at a different chinese restaurant. help.
Definitely just blazed with the housekeeper. That woman needs a raise
Our logic class started an hour ago, I walked out and found my sister drunk, sitting down, eating m&ms, afraid to walk in... I want her life
Don't look him in the eyes, it like looking at the sun but instead of burning your retinas it makes you wet and vulnerable
you walked onto the street in the middle of the 10K in your thong. it was a whole new kind of expirience.
When nipples stop being hilarious I'll stop getting them out in public.
GOOD MORNING. Have you seen the Avenger vibrators?
Nothing says "Happy New Year" like having to shit into a plastic bag.
Do dollar stores sell vibrators?
Randomize
