so the car was packed with everything from my dorm, plus my mom. during the 6 hour trip home she found my kama sutra. started flippin through it.....
oh shit that had to have been awkward
i thought so too. until she asked what the check marks were for
STOP SENDING ME DANCING JESUS FORWARDS.
I could tell by the way he was holding my hand that he really liked you
It didn't get weird until she took off her underwear, looked down, and said "fill her up!"
I knew shit got real when the pinapple was gone and people were just passing around the core and gnawing on it.
Your doorknob is in my back seat, in case you were looking for it.
before we left she put a post-it on the floor next to the toilet saying she was a pretty pretty princess
I knew it would get worse when I said I think your roommate is watching and he looked over at him and said ... So?
I threw away my jacket instead of washing it, the jungle juice stained me more of shame than red food coloring... i have never been that white girl wasted before...
shotgunning beer in rite aid bathroom. hurry
We hooked up and then we watched game of thrones while he fed me chocolate. I don't see how our benafriendship is a bad thing.
You ran through a field yelling "I'm frolicking! I'm frolicking!" Then fell on your face. How is your nose today, doll?
You're an independent woman who is defined by her own actions and not by whether or not you have a man. You also have great tits.
Just got a Lifeproof case for Christmas so hold on and tell me how my shower nudes look
Idk why more people don't drink at work ... i mean, yeah, the cash might be off tonight, but my customer service is fucking phenomenal right now
Randomize
