im surounded by vag. Like smog aound LA, i am suffocating in an atmosphere of pussy
um, yes. it's my birthday, of course there will be acid.
you kept thanking chef boyardee for having pull tab cans
Yeah, he said he was getting "welcome back Winnipeg Jets drunk" then puked on his jersey.
Remember...the emancipation proclimation is your favorite document, you love asian women, japanese food is the tits, and you willfully employ as many latinos as possible...
well that explains the french fry and ketchup packet rolled into the wasitband of my sweats. thank you drunk me.
I dont know, but the way you were flopping around and gurgling made me scared that you were actually drowning in the carpet.
I woke up in the closet and then I found my shirt in a bag of Doritos... how does that work out?
only in a texas roadhouse would someone whistle while I was breastfeeding.
Seriously. What did you do to me. You have a monstercoooooock.
I can't believe I just typed monstercoooooock. Twice.
Calling a preemptive no homo on tonight's activities
I think after 8 tries we can say Stoli Thursdays cause too much damage.
IF YOU HAVE THE CHANCE TO HIT THAT, AND YOU DON'T, I WILL FUCKING CRUCIFY YOU.
You're such a supportive sister.
So I sniffed too hard this morning before work and I THINK THE COCAINE JUST STARTED ROUND 2.
did he think i wouldnt notice the naked girl in the backseat
Randomize
