walking on gravel proved too much for her barefeet so she traded her bra for some guys sneakers.
i pretty much saved your life. you were so conviced that your nail polish remover bottle was "Vodka Lemon"
I'm drinking rum and coke straight from the 2 liter bottle.
the last thing i remember is ordering pitchers of white russians....
I was chocking and even did the sign for it..And you continued to just laugh
I fed him jelly beans while he fingered me. Win, win situation.
He just turned 21, it's very obvious the end of their relationship is near. Now we play the waiting game.
when was she peeing in the stairwell? why dont i remember this?
....because generally we only remember 40% of the night each, and have to fill eachother in. And that still leaves 20% that we will never know and its probably for the best
I'm just sad for you. It sucks that the 17 douchebag asshole guys you're fucking can't morph into one nice, normal, non-alcoholic guy that has a drivers license and no criminal history.
SITTING NEXT TO A CIRCUS PERFORMER AT PLANNED PARENTHOOD. THIS IS MY LIFE.
things I never thought I would say vol. 24 "Bagpipes just remind me that my relationship is over"
I totally almost forgot you fucked that guy. St. Patty's bar crawls always have a drawback.
brushed my teeth nine times since getting home, still afraid there are pubes hiding in between my molars. fucking gummy bears
You know shit got weird when you watched another guy shove drugs up your wife's ass and it wasn't awkward for any of us....
Was that you calling me at 4am asking to borrow a rubber ducky and a tampon?
I just upped my southern womanhood. Taking whiskey and Kleenex pocket packs to the funeral.
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