Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(916): View more from California

You're in luck. The brownies don't even have butter, just vege oil

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(301): View more from Maryland

woke up this morning with a pool of champagne in my purse. apparently i was saving it for later.

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(828): View more from North Carolina

Black Friday shoppers are ridiculous. I think I just watched a marriage end.

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(716): View more from New York

Eventually the creepy theater major quirks will come out. Probably in bed. Like role playing as the Phantom of the Opera

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(502): View more from Kentucky

I already apologized. And I got cum in my eye in return, I say your night beats mine...

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(314): View more from Missouri

Frozen waffles and wine. Loneliness-party of one

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(+65): View more from

No. No, there is no forgiveness for this. The only way I'm forgiving you for this is if you somehow convince your sister to have sex with me. In her car.

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(574): View more from Indiana

HI MARY. THERE IS A RAINBOW AT OUR APARTMENT

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(562): View more from California

Apparently I gave a guy a hand job on the dance floor. ON THE DANCE FLOOR.

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