Dude, I'm in her bathroom and there's crab shampoo... is it worth the risk?
You're missing what this discovery implies... she's got a fucking bush.
I wish there were wingman of the year awards.
woke up to find a pram in the balcony. first thing we did was look over the edge!
had to ask my 13 year old sister if she knew any dealers... she did. it's good to be home.
Literally passed out while tubing... Boating while hammered is a blast but thank God for life jackets
I need a second opinion on who's blood is in my car.
drunk doesnt even begin to explain it. he said he was going to get playing cards from the lobby and came back 20 minutes later with a full set of sheets.
Can we please stop calling your vagina the cave of wonders?
New rule : you aren't allowed anything . Ever .
You sat there for 20minutes trying to seduce the picture of my dad.
you're going to have to hot glue me into my dress tonight. there's no way out.
There is a mobile STD testing unit set up at my place of employment. In the lunchroom. I may need to reevaluate my career choices. And my lunch plans.
Um, you were throwing up the shocker symbol in front of all of the wedding guests during the best man's speech. No wonder the groom thinks we're bad
It was an "I snuck in through the window at 5am with my underwear in my pocket" kind of night.
Had to decide between a hook up at the train restroom or getting to work on time #growingup
Her hand jobs are magic. They smell like vanilla and awesomeness. She made me forget how to walk
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