Taking jello shots out of a big bowl from a measuring spoon. holla atcha boy.
they're making a venn diagram comparing gummi bears against gummi worms...is this what i have to sit thru to get free weed????
His room was full of guns. It was like having sex with Clint Eastwood.
well the hot one passed out so thats that, but then the fat one made chicken nuggets....totally worth it
I got kicked out of a mexican restaurant last night for being too drunk. This is getting dangerously close to rock bottom
I was carrying him baywatch style into my place because he passed out.
do you think this outfit says "I maintained my dignity this weekend"?
It is very possible that having sex with you just now just got me into Yale
hey now, it was 6 bucks for 5 shots. you would have lost your panties too.
Was it your intent last night to burn the house down? With a waffle..
They both showed up at the same time... to surprise me. One had flowers and the other had chocolates. Needless to say, I will be at the bar all weekend long trying to figure out how this happens.
Go have a frustration cry and get over it
I begin to question your sobriety when you both left here shirtless, with beers in one hand and shotguns in the other
Last night was fun but it wasn't right. I will say that our lives intersected for a brief and intense moment and we will just leave it there.
you know you're sexually deprived when you're holding a warm taquito in your hand and your vagina starts to tingle
Randomize
