My mom came into my room and told me to flip off the tv. I gave it the middle finger. Note to self: STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT
Yeah, i don't remember peeing. or meeting the girl.
it's a girl!!
That's great, I look forward to meeting her in 18 years
He looked way older than 15. He probably thought that since I have braces I was 15. Fuck. The 6 year age gap is never to be spoken about. Especially because what happened constitutes as illegal.
At what point should shame kick in? Realising I had a one night stand with a man engaged or realising I am that man's wedding photographer?
We woke up, fucked twice, she drank 3 warm heinekins to cure her hangover and said "Im glad you're still hott when im sober"
They ran out of ice at the party, so I fixed my drink with frozen broccoli....the show must go on!
I just listened to "Eye of the Tiger" and did 5 shots to prep going over to see him.
My diabetic professor who apparently didn't eat anything all day keeps passing out. I gave him a joint. He's gonna be fine.
You forgot your "boyfriend" from last night on my couch. You're suppose to bring that shit with you.
I let a drunk, gay man in a dragon costume motor-boat me. With his dragon head.
She asked for her virginity back. I don't know what to say
And the next morning he asked me why I had clothes on so I said so that he could take them off again.
this hospital has no fireball
I don't know where I'm at. But I'm pretty sure what I'm looking at is a small bear.
Randomize
