then she said "on the count of three I think we should apologize to eachother"
Bad idea. College students cannot afford both alcohol and a cat. Unless said cat is irish, and can feed itself with fifths of whisky.
6 other girls and I took an ice cream truck to the bar when we couldn't get a cab. Best birthday ever.
Well on a lighter note, guess who just threw up in the elevator
She just fell in the river. Meet us downstream with the bottle.
It just hurt to pee because he was fingering for fucking gold in there.
I can dry shave vagina like a champ
I'm praying that the company stray cat shows up tomorrow. I think I may have hit it while leaving Friday. Nobody will believe it was an accident after I hit the last one.
Sidenote: do you recall your "give me the d" chant
Oh jesus...leave it to you to hit on not one but two guys who can't fuck you till marriage.
She pinched my nipples out of nowhere as I was about to come... I think I found god
Three Asian guys got on the elevator with a handle of Hennessey and a sleeping bag. This is not the start of a joke.
Did I, at any point last night, say I was dying?
i had to call the bar to ask if they found my bowling ball. That good of a night
it wasnt weird until his dog watched upclose as i put a tampon in
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