yea..i want to get out of new york for a bit too but for the love of god not to new jersey. that's like getting tired of the stripclub and getting yourself a toothless prostitute.
Words of Wisdom: ordering a pitcher of whiskey cokes, putting a straw in it, and calling it your drink is not socially acceptable
his dad told me thanks for making his little boy a man at breakfast this morning
this is the last time we take the mathletes drinking.
in hindsight, the duct tape banana hammock was a bad idea.
my roommate just showed up covered in dirt, drunk....with a whole ice cream cake that says "it's a girl".
There was a note in my hello kitty underwear telling me "don't go over 9000"
crossing my fingers that hitting golf balls off my pourch was a dream and not something that actaculy happened
I'm drawing the line at your vagina. I will not accompany you to get that pierced and/or tattooed. There's got to be some mystery to our relationship.
These freshman guys were trying to holler at me from their window, and I realized about 20 minutes too late that the best possible reaction at that time would've been screaming "FLACCID PENIS". Oh, and I found this awesome zombie charm bracelet you would love.
you fail at everything in life besides blacking out
I miss forts and drugs that made me believe in unicorns...
Can't we just go back to fucking and having your boyfriend think you're completely straight?
handcuff keys just fell out of my bra....wtf happened last night?
Nah leave him alone, he is at the strip club with his mom.
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