I just ate 10 fun sized 3 musakteers.. I'm pretty sure I'm about to start my period.
Talk to you next week
Am I the only person who thinks Megan Fox looks totally like a Thai lady boy with a serious tanning bed fix?
I had to stop messing around with him for fear of laughing in his face. I swear it was a pinky finger in his pants
i had to apologize to my friends for being friends with me
you asked "if this appropriate to take the the bathroom?" while holding up a bottle of vodka when you went to pee.
You fell asleep with your fingers in my vagina. You made this a relationship.
As a female I reserve the right to put my ipod in my cleavage because I have no pockets and not get judged by other girls right??
Nothing says never again like hurling in the shower.
Are you sure you didn't shit in my back yard?
Half of my brain feels like I donated it to science and they basically just poured jack Daniels on it and put out cigarettes into it before returning it to my skull
You answered, dry heaved into the phone twice, & then hung up on me.
Update: just imagined being dirty talked to in an Irish brogue and I think my vagina became a sentient being.
So apparently having sex with your co-worker in the bathroom at the staff party can get you fired.
literally took my pants off in the middle of bourbon last night without taking off my heels im a super human i guess
Teacher vividly described one of the times he did shrooms, sat down, sighed, and told everyone to go do drugs and let us out 15 minutes into class. I love community colleges
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