Omg. Budweiser tramp-stamp sighting @ Wal-mart. Best tattoo EVAR.
His friends call him "Gasm".... Im going for it.
I feel like someone was just looking at my memory and took out an eraser and was like "nope he doesnt need that"
Do you think most people who work at an airport Chili's can pin point where their lives went wrong?
The cop only confirmed I'm .22% Irish. Then I threw up on him.
I just threw up in the bathroom next to the zebra exhibit. The kids don't know I skipped a beat. Best nanny, ever.
Why can't it ever be the normal ones that stalk me?
And after getting thrown out of the frat house, getting carried up the hill for a half an hour, puking 5 times, and almost getting stopped by campus security, she still insisted he sleep with her. Gotta give her credit, even blacked she kept her eyes on the prize
my vagradar is going off.. it smells a soldier
FIND ME A DICK TO RIDE THAT HOPEFULLY IS ATTACHED TO A CUTE PERSON AND NICE PERSONALITY
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED. Is it okay if I only get 2 out of 3?
The D is nonnegotable.
Just remembered I said your cat looked delicious last night.
He called me baby cakes during sex... Can U not
So my balls are accidently making an appearance on snapchat
you woke up this morning in a laundry basket, only wearing rainboots.
I asked him to have birthday sex with me via xbox live
Randomize
