I looked him in the face and asked if we could stop. he asked why. I said "I can't feel it.". ...I feel bad; I should have faked.
dude. she was texting with her nipple. I love touch screen phones!
I don't get why Lindsay Lohan doesn't just blame her bad behavior on her twin sister from the Parent Trap. I mean nobodys seen her since.
its 9am and we're in an escalade. I have no shoes and my dress is on backwards. I feel like we're the morning after a rap video
He waited til after we had sex to tell me he had herpes... Ugh I hate being drunk
Dude i thought about you literally the second after I came. This friendship is starting to cross some serious boundaries
UPDATE: lighting the grill with Bacardi. Haven't slept. Forgot the hamburger buns. Almost out of our eighth handle.
I had ketchup on my elbow and a random girl goes "I got it" and licked it off, only on game day
I dont care what I am for halloween, as long as i'm not a father after
Sitting here reading the internet and all i have to show for this summer is a shitty tan and the possible case of clamidia.
you sternly forced jackson to start preheating the oven around midnight so you could make bagels in the morning
you were serious about those bagels
Then again, he has huge mansions.
*manboobs.
That's true because who the fuck doesn't love Harry Potter and beer
I just turned down the best booty call of my life because I have to make a cheesecake. I guess this is growing up.
My mom just came upstairs handed me an Adderall and asked if I could help her wash the ceilings
Randomize
