You feel like going out tonight?
Does a 14yr-old girl look good beat up? I'll bring the handle
I have had it with that bitchy sack of crazy. Iam done!
Yeah I'm buying him lunch right now because I shot him with the fire extinguisher last night
you know by doing this we are using dad as a drug mule right?
I have to fuck proof my bed. It was in the middle of the room this time.
i lost his rear view mirror, your phone charger, and my lesbian virginity. 21 isn't shaping up too well so far.
Ye. Looking like it's about to be one of those mythical responsible weekends
But first time having sex and he went down on me twice?! I'm gonna marry this guy
I'll make sure to include that in my bridesmaid toast
Sitting in back of morning lecture drinking a daqueri from my pink unicorn cup. Pretty sure the girl next to me smells it.
Yo I found your batman costume.... It was in my pool with a shitload of beer cans
Yeah, if you don't like strip clubs you won't like microwave chimichangas.
I'm eating cheesecake with my hands completely naked while falling asleep
I like your optimism Chelsea but I'm not about getting my salad tossed
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
Our orgasm ration was 1:45. No. Fucking. Joke. I thought I was going to die.
Randomize
