i just went dwnstairs and there are 5 guys without their shirts on hugging each other. i think i should leave now
yeah for some reason your penis didn't fit in my mouth the other day
I hate when people uglier than me have girlfriends
Whatever, its basically a crime against humanity to miss an andre power hour so she'll get what's coming to her.
She talked about nothing but beanie babies for 45 minutes. I'm never getting high with her again.
Dude you has no fucking this poptart
What?
I dont know to explain this.
And then I learned that we are dating when I said it's out of line to bring fuck buddies home to meet the parents. And then I was single.
My tweets this weekend consisted of me telling every bar I went to that they were my favorite valentine. I've never felt like more of an alcoholic
He had to put the child locks on the windows so you would stop screaming at random boys
Just to clarify, I'm still tripping balls
On an unrelated note, I've come up with a theory of everything
I'm currently trying to figure out a way to fill the bathtub up with mashed potatoes so when he comes over he'll know what's about to hit him..
Just had a reminder come up that just said "Ham"
Why are you drunk at the library?
Why not?
I guess you could say the date didn’t go so well since I was drunkenly Snapchatting with my ex by the end of it.
Your penis caused this!
Randomize
