How long until YT realizes that it's a man?
I would like to meet someone who actually lost their virginity in a candle filled room
Just got an email from TMobile. Said they were going to pursue "more qualified" candidates. So this is what rock bottom feels like.
You act like I'm the first person to try and hook up with a blind chick.
We have a tower of vodka coming. OF VODKA
You're a college freshman. Its your job to be pathetic. And drunk. But mostly pathetic
This is stressing me out. I feel like I need to eat the dick.
Wanna skype?
Can your lips gently and pleasantly suck on my balls via skype? If not, then no.
The girl that works the front desk at my gym invited me and my friend to come see her Tuesday during her shift at hooters because its her birthday. I still have a boner
It's like an R Kelly music video in here. Only a matter of time before someone pisses on someone
Dilemas of the modern woman: deciding whether or not to write on your ex's wall for his birthday. This is serious.
Next time I think buying tan-thru bikinis is a good idea, remind me of that time I passed out in one and burned the epic shit out of my pussy.
When was that?
Yesterday. Bring aloe. For my pussy.
Should I be scared that after we hooked up she took antibiotics with Sailor Jerry's?!
Just ate Panda Express. Fortune cookie had no fortune in it. I actually prefer this. Less broken dream potential.
He's so in love with you that you could fuck a blood relative and he'd be like "I just want you to be happy"
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