Shit chicky whatchu wearin rt now, ur skins?
Oh dear, kinda... in ur sweats!
U look good, r we getting naked in ur car?
Wearing these hooker shoes was a mistake
I think my guts just had a chinese fire drill
I feel dirty and I went home alone. Bars should be like airlines and make fat girls pay double for everything.
she started talking about my kids
was she topless?
He went through and tagged himself on my crotch in all of my facebook pics
you handed me your bra at the bar and said 'hold my purse'
dude, there's a fucking musical in my head. it's fucking awesome being this high.
I think this breakup is Gods way of telling me I deserve a bigger dick
Walking back from greek row alone at 3:30am in a child's kangaroo suit...not my proudest moment
First off, get on bc solely in preperation for this event. Second, as my little sister you have a lot of whore to live up to.
Me either. I want to get 'chase a stray cat through the neighborhood in my hooker heels' drunk. And it's your birthday, so you have to get 'best friend holding your hair while you puke in the bar bathroom and cry about your life' drunk. In a feather boa.
Can we make a pact that if we're 40 and still sluts that aren't married we can get civil unioned the fuck up and raise an asian baby as our own?
Tried to land my foot on his shoulder and kicked him in the face. Then I fell into a homeless man's bike and posed with a buffalo head. How was your night?
What is your friends name that I hooked up with? ....I think j found his credit card under my bed
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