Why don't you ever send me any naked pics
At a bar where three women in denim shorts are debating techniques and skillsets for wrangling goats. You stay classy Delaware.
I left a cheeto on everyone's car trailing to the house i'm at, hanzel and gretel style.
I can't even teach it... It's just natural slutyness.. My mom has it too
She threw all the patio furniture in the pool saying she was building a castle.
Sad Megan is Sad
Have you been drinking my beer?
I'm like an air traffic controller of women. It's a very similar job. Well spaced and gentle landings are good. When they meet, it's bad. Explosions bad. Dying screaming burning children bad.
Shaving your bikini line at 11 at night in the Walmart bathroom feels trashy no matter why you're doing it.
Yeah. Still not happy that my prof saw a picture of my vag.
You can't just say you're dying of terminal cancer everytime they try to card you
He had a cruise ship of a dick and I need to set sail on that ocean again
So if I run into you on the street, I'm supposed to just stop drop and suck your dick?
I still can't believe a guy pooped in my backyard
Somewhere on my work laptop I have a map visualizing all the area codes that Ludacris has ho's
I hope that wasn't done on billed time
I can guarantee that it was
Did you make it home alright?
No I'm sitting under a tree by a cricket. He's alone crying out for someone to Fuck him. This guy gets me.
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