She started to tell me how she goes to a shrink, so I started thinking how to sneak out of her place, then she said part of it was for her sex addiction, long story short she's got her clit peirced n I just got laid
2 classes, 3 finals, and $30 worth of adderall until this semester is over.
im honestly just eating salsa and looking at his penis
I'm soaked in champagne. I'm eating oatmeal from mcdonalds tonight was glorious
at one point he couldn't find his underwear so he put on my catsuit to go to the bathroom
There is an empty space on my boobs where glow paint should be.
Today's work quote "if I looked like you, I'd be sitting on everyones face"
I LEAVE YOU TWO ALONE FOR 45 MINUTES AND ALL MY WHIPPED CREAM AND CONDOMS ARE GONE
also, made a drinking game out of my birthday photos....drink everytime alcohol is in a photo. going through all 350 of them.
I have a rage boner right now. An actual erection brought on by the amount of sheer hatred I have towards nationwide.
quick, give me some iron man trivia, i'm going to make this girl regret quoting tony stark in her tinder bio
I have a tab of a google image search of onion rings open and it is making me so happy.
I feel like I might be the only person I know who eats bundles of radishes in-between orgasms from their vibrator.
You coming to give me head and eat tacos?
How did I get home last night?
We put your keys on a lanyard that asked anyone that found you to bring you home. A nice man in a cape, green shorts and a mesh shirt dropped you off this morning.
Oh. Yeah. Riiiggghhht
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